The Birth of Arwen Elise

The Birth of Arwen Elise



Two days of early labor started the birthing process on a typical note for me - I would start up having contractions at nightfall, begin timing them...they would stay about ten minutes apart, then space out to twenty minutes apart during the day. Each night they would get more intense -- lots of bloody show.

The morning of the 12th of January, I was having a "this is the day" feeling. I would really have to watch my breathing during some contractions -- the children were still with me and I didn't want to scare them with any birthing sounds. My husband was home and really helped out so I didn't have too much to do in the way of cooking and general child wrangling.

During the course of early labor, I had been tracking my dilation via an external method, taught by Anne Frye, author of Holistic Midwifery. Using finger breadth spacing between the top of the uterus and the zyphoid process (cartilage at the tip of the breastbone), it is possible to check cervical dilation pretty accurately, although the check must be done during the height of a contraction, while the mama is lying on her back -- not fun. Five fingers fitting into that space indicates no dilation where four fingers would indicate that you're at two centimeters, when only one finger would indicate being complete.

Using this method, I deemed that at 1:00am on the morning of the 12th, I was almost 4 cm dilated, then at 6:00 am I was getting close to 6cm. I continued to check during the day, but still stayed pretty much the same.

I knew things were going on and that it was time to start the ball rolling, so early in the afternoon, I turned on some salsa/cha-cha music "Suavemente -- Elvis Crispo" and started dancing with the kids until I was getting pretty tired. Rowan and Ember had lots of fun, started dancing with each other, dancing with me. It was really great.

Contractions started to pick up again, getting closer together, but I felt like I needed to keep moving. So, I called my cousin Sarah, who lives right up the road to see if she wanted to go for a walk. She picked me up and took me over to her neighborhood where we walked twice around the block -- we stopped because I didn't want to wear myself out before things really picked up.

Not long after I got home, contractions got about 4 1/2 - 5 minutes apart. I knew it would be time to go soon. It was getting dark and that mammalian hind brain was starting to get active -- show time.

I expressed my urgency to my husband, who got the kids together, got their bags and took them out to the house of our previous land lord/land lady back on the farm. I knew I needed to go ahead and go into the hospital (no home birth this time, unfortunately, too expensive with the year we just had). My cousin Sarah picked me up and took me in, with plans to meet my husband there after he dropped off the children.

Everything worked out well that way -- there was a wait in the L&D for a spot in triage. I got checked and was found to be 5cm, but could be stretched to a 7, and was 90% effaced. The doctor high-fived me. We got along right off the bat -- he was very happy with my birth plan and said he wished he could have more informed patients like me. No worries -- the birth I wanted was very obtainable. 

We were checked in by about 8:30, Scott came in right at the end of the check-in. The doctor said he knew that 5cm wasn't "technically" active labor, but due to my "labor face/dance" that he was going to admit me anyway, especially since I could stretch to a 7 easy. Considering his hands are much bigger than mine, it looks like the external dilation check was spot on. 

At 9:30, my waters broke. As soon as it happened, things got intense-- fast. I rocked on the ball, leaned on my husband for support, Tried to walk around. I consented to a 20 minute strip read out on the machine, but the nurse wanted me to be hooked up for twenty minutes every hour...which just was not going to work for me.

So, every time she walked into the room to hook me up, I escaped to the bathroom. i was successfully able to evade her. 

Transition was text - book, I'd never experienced transition like that before: nauseated, shaking, wanting to quit...thankfully, I never asked for drugs, although I did ask my cousin and husband, at one point, "Would it make me an awful person if I wanted all of this to end, right now?" And of course, they told me no, but I was almost there -- I was an eight!

A few minutes later, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. I went in, two, three times, all feeling kinda pushy, but I didn't believe that I was ACTUALLY feeling pushy so early -- it was 11:50pm.

I went to lie down on the bed and everything stopped -- contractions, everything. I felt like I could actually rest. Everything got quiet inside me and I switched gears and asked, "I need to get checked, I feel like I can push."

Before they even started to come in to check me, I checked myself and felt the head. Yup. Push time. I didn't care if there wasn't a doctor in the room yet, I was going to catch the baby myself if I had to!

So, I started pushing. I felt the head start to come down. I felt so awesome! I was at the foot of the bed, on my side. The doctor came in and asked me not to push, and I told him I couldn't...well, I was pushing on purpose and he knew it. He got in position, and people started hurrying into the room.

"So, you don't want me to coach your pushing? Are you sure?"

"Yup...just help me not tear!"

And I pushed, all on my own. Sarah, my friend Becky, and my husband Scott all supported me while I eased the baby out myself. The doctor helped the baby with her shoulder. Four or five pushes...and the baby started crying!

I never felt so awesome in my life. It was over..and Arwen was here!

I started praying/singing the Shema as soon as she was out -- I was so thankful! The doctor smiled and said, "Where did you learn Hebrew?" I laughed and said, breathless, "We're kind of Jewish...we believe in Messiah."

The doctor said, "I'm Jewish too. Shalom. That was beautiful."

Arwen nursed right away -- we did skin-to-skin. She weighed 7lbs 8oz and was 20 inches long. She was born at exactly midnight...it even says on the birth record "00:00". :D

Going home today. I am..so incredibly happy. Yes, it wasn't a home birth this time...but it was still so beautiful and empowering. 

No Excuse for Laziness!

This week I've experimented with washing my laundry by hand, and you know what, it was a lot of hard work! My muscles in my arms are sore, but are on their way to becoming even more defined. My core muscles are taking a hit too and it feels great! 

Also, while I was hoeing the garden, I noticed how my entire body was getting a work-out! Have you ever really got down and scrubbed your floor, or kneaded bread with gusto? Then you know what I'm talking about!

There really is no need for this whole "work-out" craze among mothers, because if you work hard enough and eat right, there really is no need! I'm not saying that it's bad to work out, but it is easy to become sucked into the "me-me-me" culture.

So, mothers everywhere, get off your behinds! Go do something, instead of "pinning" it. Take a look at your house. Are your kids doing all of the work? Unless you are bedridden, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn't be in shape simply by doing the necessary house work.

Technology is fantastic (I'm blogging, aren't I? lol) but your housework becomes more meaningful when you can throw yourself into it physically. Things that take the most time are worth the most.

Put down that iPad, gather your children, and get to work! No more selfies of your beach-ready body! Is your home suffering because of your selfishness? The more you focus on yourself, the more your children will suffer.

The state of your home reflects your inner being. It's not too late to turn things around. I'm speaking to the THOUSANDS of mothers who need to get back to what's really important.

May Yah bless you and keep you, diligent mothers. You can have a healthy and pleasing body not by focusing on yourself and neglecting your family, but by doing a honest day's work. And never work alone! Always have your children close to your side.

The Birth Story of Ember Rose -- 12/03/13

It's about time! 

December 3rd, 2013 at 12:18am, my beautiful daughter Ember was born! She weighs 8lbs and 14 ounces and is 24 inches long! She is such a big girl! AND -- she was born at her grandparent's house, in my husband's old bedroom!

This labor was much longer and many times more painful than Rowan's birth. I was in labor for two whole days.

Sunday evening at around 5:00pm, I started having moderately strong, sort of regular contractions. A few would be ten minutes apart, then a few would be five...and then they would jump up to fifteen minutes apart. The pain of the contractions wasn't even that bad...but there was this inexplicable pain at the bottom of my uterus that I just couldn't explain. It was a sharp, stabbing pain that didn't let up and didn't allow me to rest.

My midwife stopped by to assess the situation...and we really couldn't figure out a reason for the pain. After several hours, she went home, since I was only two centimeters dilated. Not long after she left, the sharp pain got even sharper and much more intense. 

Unable to figure out what was going on, we decided to go into the hospital to get it checked out.

Everyone in the hospital was really quite nice. They checked me (I was at four by this time) and did an ultrasound. Everything looked quite normal and they couldn't see any reason for the pain. 

Then the attending came in to the room.

He started throwing around demeaning phrases like 

"So...you want to be in pain?"
"Pregnancy is inherantly dangerous."
"The only time your baby is safe is in the hospital nursery."
"You think you're built for this?"
"You want to do this naturally? A broken bone is natural..."

He asked me what I wanted the hospital to do for me. I said I just wanted to get checked out to make sure this extra pain accompanying my normal labor pains wasn't anything "wrong". And then I wanted to go home.

"Well, we don't know if anything is wrong. We won't know unless you have the baby here, in the hospital."

I told him that since all the tests came back fine that I would just go back home. I did want one more internal exam to make sure I didn't dilate to something crazy like 7 or 8 before we took the drive. I didn't want the baby to be born on the side of the road. I asked him if the doctor that gave me the exam before could do it one more time.

"I don't think we need to complicate things with another exam. If you want us to help you, we can do that but if not..." He trailed off.

My husband stood up, "So, unless she stays she can't have another exam? You're holding an exam over my wife's head?"

My good friend who was there with my husband, midwife and I was so enraged she offered to go get the other doctor herself.

After some more back and forth, I said "forget it" and unhooked myself from the machines. We would sign the papers and go home.

After he left, nurses came in and apologized for this rude doctor. They got the other, kinder female doctor to check me. There was no change so we signed the "leaving against medical advice" papers and got out of there.

So, we got back home around 5:00 am. I was able to sleep on and off again until 8:00am. All day long, my contractions were very irregular, accompanied by the unexplained sharp pain. I could not relax.

We tried everything -- walking, in the tub, out of the tub...nothing got things going. After many hours I progressed to five and then after many more hours I got to six. The sun was going down for a second time and I was getting really, really tired.

Even though I was progressing, we still weren't 100% sure this was true labor because I wasn't showing the emotional signposts of labor.

Finally, we had to make a decision -- to either try to stick this out or go in for pitocin and an epidural. I was pretty much on the verge of begging to go in.

We came to a happy medium -- we would go to my husband's parent's house, which was half way to the hospital and see if a change of scenery would help. We called ahead and they situated the upstairs for us, which consists of two bedrooms and a bathroom. 

When we got there, I walked and walked around the downstairs, going to hands and knees or clinging to furniture during contractions. They were really, really strong...but I was so tired I could barely stand it. I still was chatty inbetween contractions...thankfully they were establishing a pattern and getting closer together. 

By this point, I could barely keep my eyes open! I went upstairs to lie down...time got weird by this point. I really can't remember a whole lot of what happened next besides pain and wanting it to be over. 

My midwife checked me again. I was at nine and could be stretched to ten. I couldn't believe it. 

But I had no urge to push, I was way too tired. 

My husband got in my face and really made me snap to it. A mirror in place helped me focus...somehow I suddenly remembered -- I was having a baby!

A few pushes later Ember was born! She was caught by my mother in law in my husband's old bedroom. I was so tired that I didn't think to check the gender. My midwife asked my husband to look and see.

He did the funniest thing: he lifted her leg up, much like you would a puppy or a kitten, to check! 

"Its a girl!"

My whole pregnancy I just knew it would be a girl. And boy, was she huge! Two whole pounds larger than Rowan at birth.

After the newborn exam everything was really easy...we got all cleaned up, ate, called a few people, then went to sleep! :)

*Edit: We did eventually find out the cause of all that extra pain! Ember's hand, elbow, and shoulder were all pushed across her face, pressing against me rather hard.

Parents Need Training Too!

Being eight months pregnant in tents is hard.

But, having a small tribe of other people to assist is very helpful. :)

As you know, Sukkot is going on right now. We're camping with my husband's family in their side pasture. Boy, am I glad we didn't go to a national park...because with the government shut-down, we probably would have been asked to leave.

Praise Yahuah...seriously.

This will be my second pregnant Sukkot. The time before last I as pregnant with my firstborn son. Now I'm pregnant with my second child and let me just say, it's easier to take care of them when they are in your belly!

It's been a great learning experience though. I've had my own training on child training, thanks to my wonderful, dearly beloved mother in law. I feel really sorry for those who aren't on good/wonderful terms with their mother-in-laws...women really miss out on having an amazing friend/mentor. But then again, mine is really a cut above the rest. ^_^

I wasn't raised like my husband. He comes from a Scriptually-structured family. Mealtimes, loving discipline, mutual respect, firm hands and soft voices. When I married him, I realized that this lifestyle, which I craved, would become my own and I would have to learn to mirror it.

Bad habits are hard to break.

Parents Need Training Too:

I have a tendency to let things go instead of addressing it immediately. Inconsistency is the enemy of order in the home. So, when my toddler, whom I have been training since he was six months, disobeys me over something, I turn the other way more often than I'd like to say.

A lot of times, I am scared to spank because I am afraid of spanking for the wrong thing.

So, here are a few guidelines I have learned while here at Sukkot, under my family's tutelage.

1. Discipline is for rebellion only.

2. Never discipline when angry or frustrated.

3. Do no harm.

4. Only use the Scriptural rod. (Hands are for loving. Never use belts or other "spanking" implements. Stop and get the rod.)

5. Never threaten. (Or count to three or wait until you've given a direction multiple times to discipline. Give the direction and if they do not obey immediately, that is rebellion.) 

6.  Love. Love. Love. (Discipline isn't about beating them into submission. Its about getting their attention in a way that they understand to put weight behind you words. After the conflict has been resolved, set them in your lap and give lots of hugs and loving. Let them know that you love them very much and that you are happy that they obeyed you. The experience needs to be POSITIVE. You both need to come away from the situation in peace, love, and mutual respect.)

 7. Redirect Whining. (Whining is not rebellion and does not need discipline. He needs to be taught in words he can understand how to say things the right way. Today, my toddler just woke up from a nap. He was falling apart all over the place and was whining about everything. My mother-in-law showed me how to redirect. She scooped him up happily and took him onto the front porch to show him some baby chicks and a frog named "Fern". Her happy attitude, change of scenery, and telling him 'Nothing is wrong. You're just fine. Let's go see the animals" showed him that everything WAS fine.)

8. Apologize When You're Wrong. (This is a key part of having respect for your children. They have just as much right to receive an apology for wrong doing as you do. If you have lost your temper or misunderstood an action, say, "Son, I'm very sorry for raising my voice at you. That was wrong of me. Please forgive me.")

These are ALL things that I truly never knew, my entire life. And most people don't!

Consistancy is key. When you stay on top of a toddler's discipline, the problems parents are having with their children at ages 3 - 5 have been stopped at age two! I'm correcting a lot of things that I've let go, bad habits I've allowed to form.

I've been at this for three days now, staying on top of things instead of letting them go. I've learned a lot. Sukkot lasts four more days...I will post an update before I go home *to no internet lol* on how things are progressing!

Remember: as a mother, it is your job to train up your child. This does not mean getting out the handy belt or kitchen spoon once you're 'fed up' with them for 'being brats'. 

Your children turn out the way you train them. 

Baruch habba b'shem Yahuah and Happy Sukkot! 

Sukkot: A Shadow of Things to Come

It's finally here: Sukkot 2013!

My son is a running, racing toddler and will enjoy the fun and festivities fully this year. Last year he was only crawling, so it was a real challenge to enjoy the Feast and keep up with him at the same time. 

It is a really sad thing that the Church doesn't celebrate these wonderful feast days, even though they were created by our Heavenly Father. 

Daniel speaks of this future changing of the Law and the Feast Days: 

(Dan 7:24)  ‘And the ten horns are ten sovereigns from this reign. They shall rise, and another shall rise after them, and it is different from the first ones, and it humbles three sovereigns,

(Dan 7:25)  and it speaks words against the Most High, and it wears out the set-apart ones of the Most High, and it intends to change appointed times and law, and they are given into its hand for a time and times and half a time. 

Zechariah mentions the Festival of Booths (Sukkot) being performed in the New Yerushalayim in the end times as well:
 
(Zec 14:16)  And it shall be that all who are left from all the gentiles which came up against Yerushalayim, shall go up from year to year to bow themselves to the Sovereign, יהוה of hosts, and to observe the Festival of Booths.
(Zec 14:17)  And it shall be, that if anyone of the clans of the earth does not come up to Yerushalayim to bow himself to the Sovereign, יהוה of hosts, on them there is to be no rain.
(Zec 14:18)  And if the clan of Mitsrayim does not come up and enter in, then there is no rain. On them is the plague with which יהוה plagues the gentiles who do not come up to observe the Festival of Booths.
(Zec 14:19)  This is the punishment of Mitsrayim and the punishment of all the gentiles that do not come up to observe the Festival of Booths. 

Paul also speaks of the Feast Days:

Colossians 2:16-17 – “Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an feast day or the New Moon, or of the Sabbath Days; which are a Shadow of things to come." …

They really are a shadow of things to come. 

Sukkot represents the Messiah coming to dwell/tabernacle with us during His 1,000 year reign on this Earth, rulling from the New Yerushalayim. It is a shadow of things to come.

Every Prophet, except for one, writes in extensive detail about the 1,000 year reign of the Messiah, whom they call a Prince. They give the dimensions of the New Yerushalayim:

“And behold, there was a wall on the outside of the temple all around, and in the man’s hand was a measuring rod of six cubits, each of which was a cubit and a handbreadth. So he measured the thickness of the wall, one rod; and the height, one rod.” [Ezekiel 40:5] – this continues through to chapter 42:20.

“The city is laid out as a square, and its length is as great as the width; and he measured the city with the rod, fifteen hundred miles; its length and width and height are equal. And he measured its wall, seventy-two yards, according to human measurements, which are also angelic measurements.” [Revelation 21:16-17]

It is sad, that even though time and time again, Believers are told throughout Scripture to observe these Feast Days, as they directly correlate to the Second Coming of the Messiah. 

THEY ARE ABOUT HIM! ...so why aren't you observing them? Why will you continue to cling to pagan festivals such as Easter, Halloween, and Christmas? Aren't we told "learn not the ways of the heathen"?

There will be a punishment for those not obeying. For the "virgin brides" not being prepared, not having "oil for their lamps" when the "Bridegroom" comes...they will be left out of the wedding feast.

Let's get far away from these "guys in ties telling lies" and get back to the Word. Read it all the way through, without any commentary or anyone whispering in your ear...be prepared.

Behold, The Bridegroom Cometh. Are you ready? 

Counting the Days: Baby #2

I have 62 days left until the birth of my second child.

It's a little daunting.

I keep asking myself, "how am I going to manage two?"

Once I've panicked a little, a softer voice in the back of my mind reminds me of some things:

I have done this before. I can birth a baby without pain medication. I can breastfeed my baby. I know how to do it, so it won't be this learning experience all over again. I know how to take care of children, in sickness and in health.

I have stayed on top of my oldest's discipline and training, so I have the advantage of him being able obey. I feel really sorry for women who are chasing down their toddler who is screaming and running away from them with another baby in their arms. I am really thankful that 'Son, come to mama' is enough and that I don't have to raise my voice or sound nasty to get my child to listen.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t...it goes both ways. 


Sometimes I worry about the mild case of postpartum depression I went through (it lasted three months) and I wonder if it will return this time around.

But then that voice reminds me, yet again:

I've done this before. Last time was harder -- there were job stresses and now you're in a comfortable position. You had NO idea how to keep a house last time and now you know what you're doing. You actually know how to use a baby wrap/carrier this time...that is going to be extremely valuable when you're getting housework done/spending time with Little Loo.

And you know that you can loose all the baby weight...because you've done it. Face it, you're one hot mama.

So, deep down, I really do know what I'm doing, I guess it's just fear of the unknown. 

Hopefully, I will deliver this child in the safety of my own home. I know labor isn't going to last 31 hours like last time. I know what contractions feel like and I know that they are nothing to be afraid of...because really, pain is useful and makes us wiser, as long as we don't turn it into a "suffering" mindset.

I can't wait to immerse myself in birth, to just completely give in this time and let my body do it's thing. I can't wait to greet my son or daughter with open arms...at home, with my family.

The Circumcision Decision for Torah-Keepers

Here's a question I'm asked a lot: how do you feel about circumcision?

Sometimes its hard to have a straight answer.

The facts about routine infant circumcision are spot on:

1. The foreskin is the protective covering of a man's penis that acts as a barrier between it and the world. Yahuah created it and it has a purpose and function.

2. The foreskin, just like a vagina, has creases and folds that need to be washed -- not cut off, to prevent disease and infection. 

3. In routine hospital circumcision, your baby boy will be strapped down to a cold, metal surface, without any comfort, and a metal instrument will be inserted under the foreskin to cut it off.

4. There is NO medical reason for routine infant circumcision. HIV/AIDS can NOT be prevented with circumcision. Only the use of a condom/safe sexual practices/sex within marriage can do that.

5. The foreskin creates natural lubrication that makes sex pleasurable. A lot of women with fully circumcised husbands have to use alternative methods of lubrication so that sex is not PAINFUL for them. Women with intact/loosely circumcised husbands do not have this problem.

With this in mind, what do those of us who have a heart for the Father's Law do?

I was not going to take my son in to just any doctor and have them strap my newborn to a cold metal table and remove the foreskin that Yah gave him.

But we still circumcised. 

We were able to look up a Messianic Surgeon who was willing to do a Scriptural Circumcision.

Back in Abraham's time, do you think that all the Israelite men lined up outside of a hospital to have their entire foreskin removed? NO. In fact (and this is NOT, NOT, NOT what we did) he used a sharp rock.

Historically, before the Pharisees got involved,  the foreskin was just pulled up, the very tip was tied off, allowed to drain of blood, and then the tiniest sliver of skin (think hangnail sized) was cut off. 

Done. No strapping the baby down, no surgical removal of the foreskin. 

A nurse and I held my son while the "procedure" was preformed.

Unfortunately -- we didn't know at the time that you didn't have to separate the foreskin too. And that was the part that truly hurt my son...I will never, ever do that again and my heart hurts when I think about that mistake. We later realized that we could have asked for him to leave the foreskin attached and that it would have separated by itself when he reached puberty, if not before. There is NO reason to separate the foreskin.

Circumcised this way, my son still has the protective covering of his foreskin. As he gets older, I will have to teach him how to clean it. That is my responsibility as a parent.

So...what if you aren't a Torah Keeper? Honestly, I can't tell you what to do. I certainly will not tell you to go to the hospital and have them routinely circumcise your child. I also can not tell you to have a Scriptural circ either because it means nothing to you. 

That's a choice you would have to make.

Paul has a lot to say on circumcision. Galatians 5:1 - 11 is often used to preach against circumcision. 

He says that even if you are circumcised, the Messiah is no profit to you.

And you know what -- he's right. Because circumcision does not 'save' you. Think of ALL of the people in the world that are circumcised -- are their hearts circumcised as well? Do they follow the Law of the Father? Do they have a heart for Yahushua the Messiah? Most likely not!

If a man does not have to be circumcised to love the Messiah. A man does not have to be circumcised to learn Torah. He DOES have to be circumcised to be in the Covenant. 

Galatians 6:11 - 16 Paul says  For 'neither circumcision counts for anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation.' And he is right! You can be circumcised all you want and that doesn't make you a Believer. That does not make you a new creation. 

On that note -- please, please, do not put your baby boys through ROUTINE infant hospital circumcision.

For Believers -- locate a surgeon who is willing to keep to Scripture and only remove what is necessary  Keep that foreskin!